hmm..how do you re-train a brain you have had for 26 years?

I went to my neurologist yesterday to check on the results of the first Botox injections. I saw results the first couple weeks, but wasn't quite sure I was seeing a difference from then on. The Dr. says she sees a difference especially in the right leg and foot. My left foot has always been worse so she sees a difference but not as significant. I felt good that it seems like we are heading in the right direction, that is until I got the bill in the mail. Every time I get injections (every three month) it will cost me 500 dollars which is with insurance. Ouch!! I am a nanny, I don't make that kind of money! So I am not sure what I am going to do yet.

Our next step is doing extensive PT. The doctor says that my body can no longer handle the way I walk. I hardly put my heels down, walk on the sides of my feet, and do not make smooth transitions from one leg to another. So the PT is going to teach me how to walk correctly and retrain my brain to do things correctly instead of just adapting to what my disability allows me to do.

I am a little afraid of all of this and just a little down because walking seems so easy for everyone and it just isn't for me. But I will figure it out and then I will be the best walker that I can be :) LOL!

Almost done with January

This month wasn't good or bad...I will take it. LOL! Work has kept me really busy this month. Nannying special needs kids alway keeps things in perspective for me, I see what all of my kiddos have to deal with and I realize I don't have it bad at all.

I am not like my PT office. They have canceled on me three times already. The first time they schedule me with a person that has never dealt with someone that has CP. I was to scared to see them because I didn't want them to do something wrong (I felt bad, but I just didn't feel comfortable). So I called my neurologist and she recommended another PT office for me to call. I will call and try and make an appointment with them tomorrow.

I have an appointment to see my neurologist on Friday. She wants to look at my legs and see what the botox injections are doing. I am afraid I won't be able to get another more injections for a really long time because I just got the bill for my last injects and they cost me 500 dollars and thats with insurance. I just don't have that kind of money lying around.

I have a meeting with a school administration to talk about some options for a business management degree. I have been talking to people about the idea of opening a daycare type facility that is more geared toward special needs children. I always have big dreams :)

Hope all is well with everyone!

Angela

First cold of the year..boo

I am currently still working with two special needs families, which is fun but a little exhausting. Starting this week I cut down to only working with one. Great for my energy level, not so great from my bill payments. We shall see how that all plays out.

Its been almost three weeks since my first injections of botox. I notice a difference the first week and a half, but I am not sure if I see much difference now. I meet with my doctor next friday to see if she sees much difference. I also get to see my PT for my legs next monday, so we will see what he suggests. I am still walking on the sides of my feet and be in a fairly good amount of pain most the time.

I am currently battling a cold....kind of feel like I got hit by a very large truck. Work will be a little hard this week :)

I am working on some new drawings and paintings, maybe I will post pictures on here when I am done...I do it for fun....they are not that great lol!

Hope all is well.

Angela

Well hello 2011

Wow where did 2010 go? Not that it was a great year or anything..but it went by super fast. This year I decided to not really make resolutions, but to really just live each day, no wait make that to celebrate each day. I realized this year that I have an amazing family and amazing friends (that includes you blogger friends).

How was everyone's Christmas? Mine was insanely busy, but fantastic none the less.

I had my first botox injections last week. Not to sound like a total wimp...but those thinks hurt LOL! The doctor did three injections on each leg. She said it would take a couple days to go into effect. I am not really sure what I am looking for really. I had to change my PT appointment to this coming Tuesday because we had a snow storm come through Colorado and I didn't feel like driving to it last week. So I am hoping this new PT will help tell me what exactly the botox effects look like.

How was everyone's new years? Do anything fun?

Love and hugs

First week down

Oh my gosh...Christmas is in like 3 days! Did I mention I am not done shopping? I know, I know..its totally my fault. I always wait until the last minute.

I got through the first week of my new job. It was a lot to learn, but such a joy to do. Alex is a great little girl. Her happiness is contagious. Seeing her learn even the little things makes me so happy. Her little sister Ryan is still in the eat and sleep stage of life, gotta admit I am kind of jealous :) .

I still do a little work for the old family I worked for, so it is great to still get to see them and be a part of their family. Plus I got an awesome Christmas bonus..which is always nice.

Can't wait to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with my family. I am majorly missing my family members that have passed on...I hope Christmas in Heaven is magical for them too.

Next week: I have two appointments. Tuesday is my first injections of botox in my legs. Still a little scared about this, but we will see. Thursday I will meet my new Physical Therapist and have our first session.

Just because everyone else gets to show off their adorable kids...I am going to show off mine :P ::drum roll please::

Meet my baby girl....Hope! She is my 3 year old Albino Boxer...Yes she is cuddling with a stuffed elephant. Spoiled is her middle name.

Hope and I send you love and hugs this holiday season!

yum...Pumpkin Pie ice cream :)

Okay so the title has nothing to do with my post, but I really want some Pumpkin Pie ice cream. LOL. Have you ever tried it?? If not, you should.

Guess what?? I got the job!! Yay! Does happy dance! I will be watching Alex who has Spinal Bifidia. She is two years old and is a super cute girl. I will also watch her baby sister Ryan who 3 months old. I am excited to start on Wednesday. The family seems great and was really accepting of the fact that I have CP (unlike other families who would not hire me) and saw it as a good thing because I could relate to their daughter. My disability doesn't affect my ability to care for kids, and anything I have trouble with I just adapt it to make it easier for me. I love working with children (typical or non-typical children) and watching them because the best to their abilities. Ever child deserves to have someone who believes in them and I believe in every child I meet (or read about on a blog :) ).

I finally started my Christmas shopping today. I know, I really need to stop waiting until the last minute for this stuff, but I also need to win the lottery for this stuff. No one is really going to get big gifts from me this year because I just don't have the money for it. Medical bills have just drained me this year. I just want to spend the holiday with my mom and my friends. Thats all I need.

I went to my neurology appointment. Always an eventful trip to say the least. First we talked about how the Baclofen really doesn't seem to be doing what it could be for the spacisity. So she gave me a new drug...I can't think of what it is called right now, if you would like to know, just ask and I will look at the bottle for ya. She also thinks that it is time to do Botox injections in my calfs. She knew I was not found of Botox and it is something we have been going back and fourth on for months, but she thinks we are running out of options. The problem is I either walk on the side of my feet or my feet turn all the way in to the center. This is painful and causes me to fall a lot. Its attractive to try and find a boyfriend with bruises all over your body and falling all the time haha :) . She also wants me to go to a PT that specializes in neurological damage. I am just a mess I guess.

I am checking out a few options for school, so I know if I am making the right decision when it comes time to decide whether I want to continue on with the program I am in or not.

Oh and Bree...I sat outside and prayed...got a few answers I needed...thanks <3

Failure...opening other doors?

Been going to school since April to become an OTA has had its ups and downs. Classes have been super hard at some times. The hardest being Anatomy 2. I tried my hardest to make it through it this semester but didn't make it. I ended up with a 75% and needed a 77% to pass. Damn it (excuse my language, but I was so close)!! In my school if you don't pass a class you have to wait for the next group of classes to come through before you can take it again. So basically I have to wait at least six months to go back to school, to take Anatomy 2 again and then I have to join a whole other class to finish out my program. Boo on all sides LOL! I will miss my friends the most, I had a really supportive class this time around and will totally miss seeing them everyday.

Now I am not sure what I am going to do, as six months is a long time away and I live my life one day at a time. Right now I am searching for a new job and that is my priority right now. I have a job interview tomorrow for a nanny job with a special needs child so wish me luck.

As if I will go back to school? maybe, maybe not. Never know what life has in store for me, but I am willing to hold my head high and take things as they come.

I have a neurologist appointment tomorrow...I will also let ya know how that goes lol.

Angela