Friday, February 18, 2011

Coming clean...I am a complete jerk!

So last week after I wrote my post I just had a totally bad feeling. I call these "my way me" feelings. I try not to get them a lot but after talking to the doctors and PT, I was just kind of down. So this is where the why me feeling come in. Why do I have to have CP? Why can't I be a normal 26 year old? Why do I have to wear these braces for the rest of my life? and so on.. See I am a jerk, I know there are so many people who have it way worse than me and that I should be glad that I can even walk. See I feel bad even saying it. Basically I am sorry for my lame mood and poor thinking.

I went to my second PT appointment on Thursday. We worked on my hips and we talked about how my hip joints are shallow therefore not holding my hips in place. She heard them popping in and out and I explained to her that this was a regular accurence. For now I am going to do some hip excercises and keep an eye on things. I am going to get fitted for the night splint next week, the bad thing is my insurance doesn't cover it. I have no clue how I am going to pay for the thing. I was suppose to get one for each foot, but I still have a little movement in the right foot, so I think I am just going to get one for the left foot that has no movement for right now, since I don't think there is anyway I would ever be able to come up with the money for two. The Ankle and Foot orthodics that I will have to wear forever I get in a couple of months and hopefully insurance will cover those.

I will write a book review for you guys this weekend, so stay tuned for that.


  1. This does not make you a jerk. Not even close. I am a big believer that attitude is everything when it comes to happiness in life, but I also know that, no matter what our circumstances are, we all have down moments. And that does not make you a bad person. It makes you human.
    That being said, I do not know what it is like to not be able to rely on my body to do what I want it to do, but I don't think I would be able to be as positive as you are. That makes you amazing in my book.

  2. I don't think you are a jerk. I think it's normal to have these feelings. It's ok to be completely frustrated. I really like what Josephine said and it's amazing how you have a positive attitude.

  3. Hang in there-- and don't worry, it's okay to say how you feel on good days and bad days too! xo

  4. Well..firstly..cut yourself some slack! You are a human being-you are entitled to have a bad day! Sometimes it is good for the soul. I think that you are wonderful and interesting and a lovely person-bad days and all! :) Hang in there..I hope you are feeling better.